WHEN THE HOUSEMAID BECOMES THE MOTHER OF THE HOUSE

A maid is a house-help who is not related to the family by consanguinity (blood). However, there are limits to every responsibility in the house especially between the mother and the maid. When the housemaid becomes the mother of the house, problems exist. These problems could be from the mother, father or maid herself. The economic situation of the country today has made it mandatory that every mother must work to help the family financially and otherwise. The man alone cannot face the problems in the house. When the woman faces her work in the office, she tends to give more attention to the office work than to the house, and this is when the maid begins to take charge. The fear of loosing the maid may even make the woman refuse to reprimand the maid when she falters. This situation will cause more harm than good in the house since the maid is at the corridor of power. She sees herself as very important in the house. I have witnessed cases where maids fight with the woman of the house with the secret help of the so called man of the house. The maid automatically becomes the second in command. Mothers who work in banks are the worst hit here since they leave house very early in the morning and go back late in the night, having very little knowledge of the children’s and husband’s welfare. They are all under the control of the maid.

Childlessness is another suspect. Some ignorant men turn their maids into their “wives”, especially when they see them pregnant which they may not even be the source of the pregnancy. Some men cover their impotency only to move the woman from pillar to pole in search of child. And when the woman fails, the attention is shifted to the maid, who might have gotten her pregnancy from outside, knowing too well that the man is desperately in need of a child. Lack of male child is connected to this. Some learned men even ignore the fact that they can be the determiners of the sex of their child.

Alcoholic as well as irresponsible, and drug addicted men turn their maids into mothers even when there is no problem of child-bearing in the family. This can lead to a very serious problem in the house if the maid’s parents are desperate. They can do anything to see the maid marry the master. Some men accept the offer to enjoy the “new breed”, holding that variety is the spice of life.

Nonetheless, there are some lazy and dirty mothers who do not care about the personal cleanliness and that of their family and environment. They are always busy doing nothing. They gossip from one place or house to another. They live every work to the maid for easy movement. They hardly recognize their faults. If the man of the house is the neat type; he may loose interest in his wife, thus the movement towards the maid whom he sees neat and active always. Also, socially deprived maids are susceptible to criminal acts; and this issue in question is no any difference. These hardly share their feelings and grievances. They can even plan the overthrow of the woman of the house.

Prayerful family with mutual understanding cannot give room to this. Generally, marriages are falling apart. Some delve into it unprepared and prematurely. It is not easy for one to leave her family and join another for life. With God, all things are possible.


By Mrs Ezeani Ifedi Anne