CRISIS IN THE FAMILY LIFE: ITS IMPLICATIONS

Like Family, Like Society It is an obvious fact that the family is the basic unit of the society. This means that the larger society is nothing but a conglomeration of families. The implication of this is that whatever affects the family invariably affects the society be it negative or positive. The society therefore is a reflection of the family. The society is simply family writ large. If there is violence in the society, it is because there is violence in the family. If there is no love in the society, it is because there is no love in the family. If there is no respect for human person or neglect of duty in the society, it is because all these are lacking in the family. On the other hand, if there are good qualities in the society, it is because they exist in the family.

Because of this fundamental importance of the family, sociologists have called for a proper care of the family. The church also as a custodian has since its inception emphasized through words and deeds the need for the family to take seriously its essential work of proper formation of the young.

Our present society reveals that there is a problem in our family life. It is a lucid manifestation that things have fallen apart in the family. A lot of factors have come into play to contribute to it. Some of the factors include modernity with its new ideological principles of liberalism, individualism, atheism and consumerism, technological advancement with its concomitant effects of information explosion, change of views and value reorientation. These factors have contributed in the failure of the family to perform its basic functions of regulation of social behavior (socialization), care and protection.

The family is essentially an institution that is meant to provide a situation and context in which their children can grow in love, communion and peace. So the parents through their watchful eyes should help to regulate the social behavior of their children, through approval and rewarding of good deeds; or disapproval and correction of the wrong social behaviours. Social behaviours are not inborn qualities, but are learnt by practice. The family is the first and basic unit which humanizes the individual and integrates him into the community. Parents should therefore, monitor the behaviour of their children and transmit to them proper values, norms and virtues. Presently, this function has been neglected so much by parents. They leave their children to fend for themselves without any direction. This is because they are too busy with their works and business. Their interests are more of economic and political. Not being guided, the children take both desirable and undesirable elements and act by them. This negligence of duty by the parents has shown its effect in the society today.

Care and protection which is also the main function of the family by which it provides security, love, warmth, food and affection has diminished drastically and its effect is being experienced in the society today. Children who suffer deprivation, lack of an atmosphere of love and concern, alienation, marginalization, violence and humiliation at the hands of their parents or other elders grow up with bottled up anger. They become anti-social and unleash their frustrations on others. Some of these deprivations come from broken families (divorce, being one). Another reason is that mothers who used to be closest to their children offering them warmth, care and love have turned to the liberating message of Zarathustra proclaimed by Nietzsche by which they are “liberated” from “slave morality” of caring for domestic affairs, and now are to be seen as equal and same with men and so do the same function in the family, as they involve in economic and political life. Yet, its negative effects are ruining the society

Models for Family Life
In the New Testament, we are given a model for the family in the holy family of Nazareth, i.e. Joseph, Mary and Jesus. It was in the family at Nazareth that Jesus was shaped and nurtured. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians exhorts husbands and wives to be subject to one another and to love each other in mutual self- giving (Eph 5:21-33). Paul adds a curious phrase, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger” (Eph 6:4). This injunction means that parents should educate their children, bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
There are parents and families who have done well to bring up their children in the proper way and they became useful to them and the society at large. Such parents and families should be emulated. Worthy of mention here is Abraham Lincoln who did not just end up the training of his son in the family but also accompanied him to his teacher to collaborate with him in the training of his young son. In his letter, he pleaded with the teacher to teach him certain virtues and values that will make him a good person. Parents should borrow a leaf from Lincoln.

Conclusion
Children are naturally innocent, humble, trusting and open. They can be formed properly and helped to grow like Jesus in Nazareth. But if the Parents do not provide such an atmosphere, that family would be a stumbling block for the children, which would affect the larger society negatively at the long run. Parents are therefore, called to go back and pick up this vital function of proper child rearing, for their own good and the good of the society