WHEN THE FAMILY PRAYS TOGETHER

It may be a too familiar expression you have heard or even made; but have you ever realized the truth in the saying that A FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER? The concept of prayer, generally, sometimes, looses that serious regard in the lives of many. One reason for this could be as a result of its seemingly lack of a quick-action effect. Thus many a family would spend much effort in what they might see to be more practical things to make a successful family, yet, neglect the role of a common prayer in the family.
While some people do not see much reason in taking one’s time to pray, many more fail to realize why a family ought to gather together at valued moments with the specific aim to pray. To the above, I wish to say that amidst the changes, chances and challenges that present themselves to the family, prayers said in common remain indispensable for the family to excel.
Again, lots of evil beset the family. Marriage break-ups, fighting among the children, sorrows, disappointments, set backs, death and the uncertainty of tomorrow; all these cause tears to flow. I agree with Bishop Gbuji that every family needs the healing of Christ to heal the suspicion that separates parents, the jealousy that divides the children, the worries and anxieties of daily living. (Anthony Gbuji, The Pastoral Care of Marriage and Family Life in Nigeria. p. 86). It is in answer to family prayers that Christ will come to unite, to make peace, to wipe tears and turn mourning into joy in the family.Family Prayer in Practice

What exactly, if we may ask, is that which we refer to as family prayer, and how can this be possible in the family?
Pope John Paul II, on the family, described family prayer as “prayer offered in common, husband and wife together, parents and children” (Vat. II, Post Concilliar Document, Familiaris Consortio No. 59). In other words, no matter how prayerfully active the father, mother or the children may be, each in his or her own bedroom, it does not make for a family prayer. It is the togetherness that makes it worth its salt.
Think of a family that has the regular routine of assembling at the family’s common room very early for their morning prayers and does same at the end of the day’s struggles for their evening prayers. This could take various forms. It could be a moment of reading and meditating on the Word of God – the Sacred Scripture. Some families may be, devoted to a patron saint, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, or interestingly and more commonly, to the Blessed Virgin Mary. When a family that prays together eats together, as the saying goes, the grace said before and at the end of every common meal can as well make a wonderful family prayer. In this, they are together thanking God who is the great provider of their needs.
Amidst the above possibilities, however, a common recitation of the Rosary by the family is outstanding. No wonder John Paul II, quoting Paul VI, said: “We now desire as a continuation of our predecessors, to recommend strongly the recitation of the family Rosary….There is no doubt that…the Rosary should be considered as one of the best and most efficacious prayers in common that the family is invited to recite. We like to think and sincerely hope, that when the family gathering becomes a time of prayer, the Rosary is a frequent and favored manner of praying” (op. cit. No. 61)


Merits of Family Prayer
Praying together defiantly leaves a lasting and encouraging effect on the family. The first of these is togetherness. Unity, oneness or togetherness in a family is something that has to come from within. A family has to be one in heart before we can see the external manifestations. Nothing fosters this unity of heart more than prayers. God is spirit and in prayer, we commune with Him. A classical definition of prayer adds that it involves the spiritual communion with God the father, through Jesus Christ the Son, by the Holy Spirit. We know that at the mention of the Blessed Trinity something comes to mind – the unity that exists among them. There is no doubt that a family which constantly invokes the sacred name of the Trinity, for instance, in the Sign of the Cross and in the Glory Be shall not fail to have a taste of unity of heart in their family. And being very precise on the Rosary, Pius XII affirmed: “if you recite the family Rosary, all united, you shall taste peace. You shall have in your home concord of souls. The Rosary recited in common gathers the parents with their children piously, joins them with those absent, with the deceased [members and] draws all these close to the Virgin who as Mother will be in the minds of her children” How pleasant, says the Psalmist, when a family is blessed with such togetherness and unity. (Ps. 133:1).
Another valued effect of family prayer is its ability to dispose the members of the family to easily forgive one another’s wrong. Among the things that disrupt the family’s progress include an unforgiving heart. It is not practicable, in fact, it is an attitude of the hypocrites for a family in which the hearts of the members are far apart from one another to gather together to pray. In other words, praying together presupposes a family devoid of rancor. No wonder Christ said: “and when you stand in prayers, forgive whatever you have against anybody, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your failings too” (Mk. 11:25). A family that strives to sincerely pray together will definitely respond to the call of the author of the letter to the Hebrews: “strive to be at peace….” (Heb. 12:14) In family prayers, we cannot exclude the prayer of petitions for one another’s good. When one member of the family struggles to ask God’s favor on another who may have wronged him or her, that very act of good- will, certainly leads to forgiveness.
Again, one of the best ways to cope with life’s odds and difficulties in the family is by committing them, with one heart, to God in prayers. Prayers instill courage and hope in us when we are on the verge of despondency. St Paul has the point when he advises: “there is no need to worry; but if there is anything you need, pray for it, asking God for it in prayers….” (Phil. 4:6). In prayers too, families, as St Peter encourages, learn to unload their worries on to God. (1 Pt. 5:7)
No matter how materially rich a family may be; no matter how politically influential, or the social status it has attained, the fact remains that left on its own, it can achieve nothing. Christ’s own words are: “…cut off from me you can do nothing”. (Jn. 15:5). There is an appraised mark of humility when a family comes together and kneels before God to pray. A family that thus humbles itself before the Lord will surely be exalted by Him. (Matt. 23:12). Such humility makes a family acquire a childlike trust in the Lord who cares for their needs. St John avers: “we are quite confident that if we ask him anything and it is in accordance with his will, he will hear us; and knowing that whatever we ask, he hears us, we know that we have already been granted what we asked of him. (1 Jn. 5:14-15).
There is another important point on the merits of family prayers; and that is its role in child’s upbringing. Whatever that is put in to train a child, if it does not bring him or her close to God, it would amount to a wasted effort. The psalmist has it that if the Lord does not build the house, the builders labour in vain, and if He does not watch over the city, the watchmen keep vigil for nothing. Thus in the family, religious formation cannot be excluded from the objectives of the child’s training. And this is best achieved in the context of the family prayer. Holding the Christian family as the first place for education in prayers, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that it is where God’s children learn to pray “as the Church” and to persevere in prayer. A daily family prayer is the first witness of the Church’s living memory as awakened particularly by the Holy Spirit (C.C.C 2685 and 2694).

Epilogue
When we look into the eternal goal of the family as set for it by Divine design, we cannot but present family prayers as the nearest of all with which to reach that goal. And what is this goal? I think one may be wrong to believe that the primary end of the family is on the material realm. Ipso facto, it does not count much, I repeat, how materially fit a family is. Political achievements and social status of a family are but additions to the essential. The vital point is in the spiritual realm. In its terse form, it involves assisting the human society to realize both its temporal and final Divine mandate. What thus lies within the spiritual requires a spiritual recourse of which family prayers is outstanding. The Second Vatican Council has a better exposition and affirmation in this regard. It says: “the mission of being the primary vital cell of the society has been given to the family by God himself. This mission will be accomplished if the family by mutual affection of its members and by [family prayers] presents itself as a domestic sanctuary of the Church” (Apostolicam Actuositatem No. 11)
A family that is lacking in common prayer is therefore sure of being very far from the ideal. I then join Henry Peschke to conclude that “a family who no longer prays together, will gradually become impoverished in Christian spirit and turn more and more profane” (Christian Ethics Vol. II, p 113). But when a family prays together, it stays together both spiritually and visibly.

By Chrisian Onyekachi Eze